guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I showed him my bush... on skype.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
