Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize