so that wasnt chicken after all
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize