Your face is a jimmy john
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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