I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
