The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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