just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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