Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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