Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
