im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
