you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I need moral support for this bender
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
