Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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