come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
