So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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