wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
