What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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