so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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