No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
