You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
