His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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