Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize