Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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