Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize