he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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