i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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