Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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