the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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