Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
