No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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