I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize