You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
