haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
