Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
