We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
