Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
