What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
