3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
