I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
