It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
