Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize