I just pynch a tree in the face
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
