The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
this just has baby written all over it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
