You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
