We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
