So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
