This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
