I am puke
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize