We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize