even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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