ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
