Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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