Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
