Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He felt like a one man threesome
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
