He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
