If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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