Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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