I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
