I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize