She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
