5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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