on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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