so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she pinky promised me she was 18
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
