I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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