Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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